Isn't it true that we always want what we don't have or what we used to have. There are many things that I have never thought to be thankful for until my eyes were open. The miracle of a healthy baby, the ability to use my legs, modern medicine and the list goes on. You don't need to have a child with special needs to relate to this aspect of human nature of course. Haven't we all wanted a newer car, a better cellphone, a better job? Haven't we all wished for something we once had- the "good old days", the loved one who is gone, or summertime?
This year, as challenging as it is, I am trying to be content with what I have now. Not things I wish I had or things I used to have. I don't want my joy to be dependent on things that were not given to me.
It is painful every time that I see Jackson linger behind in his walker while other kids run past, it is painful to watch him not be able to perform a simple task, it's painful to worry about his future. But the greatest pain I feel comes when I find myself wishing and wanting things for him that simply are not for us. There are days when I feel bitter of Jackson always having to be the underdog. There are days when everything just seems unfair. Those days are painful, but also self-inflicted. Choosing joy means choosing to see the gifts that have been given. And Jackson is very gifted.
Jackson's life has given me so much joy. Although Jackson life meant new fears and territories for me, God has also given me gifts that I could never have imagined. Choosing joy in our family means that we will never let the gifts that weren't given overshadow the abundant ones God has given us today.
This year, as challenging as it is, I am trying to be content with what I have now. Not things I wish I had or things I used to have. I don't want my joy to be dependent on things that were not given to me.
It is painful every time that I see Jackson linger behind in his walker while other kids run past, it is painful to watch him not be able to perform a simple task, it's painful to worry about his future. But the greatest pain I feel comes when I find myself wishing and wanting things for him that simply are not for us. There are days when I feel bitter of Jackson always having to be the underdog. There are days when everything just seems unfair. Those days are painful, but also self-inflicted. Choosing joy means choosing to see the gifts that have been given. And Jackson is very gifted.
Jackson's life has given me so much joy. Although Jackson life meant new fears and territories for me, God has also given me gifts that I could never have imagined. Choosing joy in our family means that we will never let the gifts that weren't given overshadow the abundant ones God has given us today.
Eric, so beautifully written. Your wisdom is well beyond many much older than you. It has not been learned without pain, but, many hold their bitterness and never get to the point that you are at already. I marvel at all of you!! You are a blessing to our family.
ReplyDeleteLove Aunt Barb